I don't normally go tanning (I know its not good for you), but I felt like going and we get them free!!! I hadn't ever been to this salon, so I had to fill out the paperwork. The attendant said, "If you ever become pregnant, you need to let us know because we do not allow pregnant women to tan." I could have just ignored it, but I'm showing and didn't feel right not saying anything, so I said "Well, I am pregnant, but I have an interesting situation." She just kind of looked at me (rightfully so, what is she supposed to think) and so I said, "My baby is sick and he isn't going to live, so there isn't a concern with me tanning." She just said, "Oh, ok. great. go ahead in bed four. :-)" She also said, "oh, you don't look pregnant. I hope I look like you when I'm pregnant", so that was sweet of her. :-)
Last night at the Men's Basketball Game, one of the TV crew that I've seen at games for years looks at my belly and says, "Are you going to have a baby?", I say, "yes" and she asks, when I'm due, congratulates me and keeps smiling and staring at my belly. My mom "on-looks" from the side knowing it is a difficult situation. What do you say. Its strange timing to try and explain... I decide to just go along on this one. It will be hard, though, because I'll see her again and again for the rest of the season. Maybe I'll carry a few copies of "Our Story" along with me, so when people ask, I can answer and then tell them to read it later...
I went to motherhood to get some tights and pants. When I checked out, there were a lot of questions about whether I wanted to sign up for the baby mozart book series to be sent over babies first year, or sign up for free pamper deliveries or sign up for a savings account for the baby. Its hard to just smile and say no-thank you several times...
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Amber, I really like your idea of caring a piece of paper with your story on it to hand someone who asks a question that you just don't want to talk about. I might even start doing it myself, I freeze when someone asks the simple question "how many kids do you have." I still cry when I end up having to tell someone who doesn't know. Big hugs:)
ReplyDeleteThose are poignant glimpses into your life. People who have never experienced such a heartbreaking pregnancy are given some insight into your ongoing, difficult daily interactions. You are handling these better than I would be able to. You are my hero.
ReplyDeleteI can't even begin to imagine what it would feel like to be in your situation. I truly commend you for your strength, and admire the way you and your husband have handled this situation. I read this great quote one time that said, "God places the heaviest burden on those who can carry its weight." I am confident that in the end you will be rewarded for your struggle.
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